I don’t see the REAL news headlines from today in your message yet.
Please paste a batch of today’s headlines (or a link list / text dump of them). Once I have those, I’ll:
1. Pick ONE headline that fits the Animals category
2. Use that *actual* story as the basis
3. Write a fun, social-media-ready Bored Monkee–style article with:
- A brand-new catchy title (under 80 characters)
- 5 interesting, shareable points
- Real names/places/companies from the chosen headline
- Plenty of humor and chaos energy
Drop the headlines in your next message and I’ll get started.